It was when I returned to Crete, after another of these amazing summers in Madrid, that Levent, a Turkish friend of mine introduced me to Facebook. Not positively impressed of this white simple page and already having a couple of similar accounts I was reluctant to immerse to another of these emerging social endeavours. However, I did get convinced when I saw the presence of the network of our friends that were already in it.
This was in year 2007.
In February 2017, I took the decision to simply take a week off from Facebook. It was the week that I wanted to relive the experiences I had from exactly the week of its previous year. So for this, I needed silence, no noise from outside, no external triggers. By then I had already observed that I could end up spending hours in facebook, strolling without purpose through pictures, statements, articles, status, commercials. Things that were not precisely choices but were actually shoved in my face. And all this, with the initial excuse of checking something shortly. Every time almost. I found my self feeling more brainwashed and like I had wasted a bit more of my life, by having spend time in facebook that was aimed to be spent on myself.
So the time for the experiment was perfect. I was ready, one week off.
And the week passed by fast. Which meant that according to the initial plan, facebook was supposed to be reactivated. But that week was just too short to feel the experience, so I went on for a bit longer. A couple of weeks more. A month passed by and I kept postponing it for a bit more. Then 3 months. Until by then end of the 6 months, it became clear: Down, indefinite. I was not really missing something after all.
It has been 3 years now and the indefinite seems to come closer to permanent. And what is it that the absence of facebook or social media did imply?
One of the two main things that facebook was useful for me was keeping up with people that I met during my travels. And of course, also in general with people that lived far away from my base. The first ones, I easily lost without facebook as we actually connected only through this platform all the way. A pity. Intending to leave facebook only for a week, there was no reason to exchange the real contacts at that stage.
Maintaining the contact to the second ones, belonged more to a choice. Simply because there were common people or paths in-between, from which a contact was possible to be retrieved. Like this, it then depends on you. And there is where you see real miracles. I remember I received an email from an old friend that has moved to Mexico and somehow found an old email of mine and send me a doc of pages and pages that were really moving. A jewel!
Without facebook you sort of disappear from the face of “life”. Virtual life does not exist anymore for you, you simply do not exist online. Interestingly, I came to notice that nothing virtual, means now nothing real. That can be considered as you not having really a life. Nothing worth to say nevertheless. People that knew you might interpret it as an abnormal change.
Another impact it can have, is in your introductory image. Because when asked of your social media accounts, people that do not know you have no tangible proof that you “exist”. Even if this question takes place in the middle of a party or at the beach watching a sunrise. Afraid of you now being a reversed catfish, and not existing in the world, you can be considered a weirdo. And consequently, the encounter becomes awkward, without the prospects of any other future connection point. Weirdos blocking is easy online, how do you do it face to face?
Life and existence, among others, are redefined terms in this new language.
By changing status like that, going from 500 online friends to a deactivated account, you find yourself also in a new state which asks for a new equilibrium. A realisation might strike of the difference in online lifestyles, in relationships and the nature of todays social life actually as a whole,.
How the virtual status shapes the real and interestingly, not vice versa.
And in this new equilibrium you can also realise the change of space and time that occurs.
The space might feel more yours, more private. The moments are what they are, all they are is in how you spend them.
Time might become more quiet, the clock stops to tick so loud and with more sober thinking it seems that you can easier evaluate priorities and desires.
While in the treadmill of the social media, you open your world to more people in general, you are also opening your window for every hidden external flow of thoughts. Any eternal virus of the mind that you are exposed to defenceless.
This external flow felt needs, that were not necessary, were created. It seemed like a world of needs in sharing moments widely, lifestyles, opinions, choices, statuses, vanities. Being in it, you are a member of it. Being on that stage, you will act accordingly.
Maybe another main thing that felt absent, was the accumulated data of events that were of your interest and you could easily keep up with it. Being informed about several real social encounters, was something that could indeed boost real social life. But also in these moments, solution comes through these friends, that so joyful like to keep you posted for anything they knew could be of your interest.
Thus, from my experience life without social media is simply very normal. According to personal standards of course.
Having social media is becoming indeed an inevitable way for socialising and even for career establishment. Probably in the future, the more dominant one becoming more and more necessary for some or not for some others.
The question that simply could be the guiding factor of a more authentic usage of social media is whether the internal, deprived of any from outside coming, thoughts are in line with what is represented in social media. How close or far one is from these representation. How clarity of the mind and time availability is actually influenced, I would say.
