2021 is almost on its way out the door and as we can see there was no post here during the whole of it. Makes it look a very busy one like this. While writing was not the main inspiration this year, directing my short film was and that is what this only post is about.
It will not be of surprise to read here how the (in)famous quotes of quarantine have resonated inside of me. Inquiries were triggered, especially about who, how and in what terms we are actually together.
Another starting point of this story is that some years ago I had received a desired present, namely a world map. The plenty of free time the quarantine gave me, I finally hung it where it belonged to, to the guest room.
Keeping sane and enjoying the free time, keeping away the existential anxiety the quarantine was provoking, the noise of a furious and fast life had almost completely been diminished and it felt like a fresh breeze was entering, day by day, the polluted paths of my otherwise busy brain. This seemed to cultivate with time a field of ideas bursting unexpected waiting to be harvested. Having transformed the once full of travellers guest room into a serious working space I found my self spending hours in there. Home working, reading my own stuff, creating and giving shape to my ideas or working out. And it was during these working outs that closely surrounded by this narrow four walls, this map was offering itself as the window to the whole world.
Squat 1, Squat 2 … squat 25 and at each one the eyes were sliding from country to country, from continent to continent. Imaginary travels in the blink of an eye. The only option I had. Before virtually crossing each border I was tiptoeing all around the mountains, the valleys and the cities, encircling the people inside and looking them from outside.
- Idea
During these “walks” and “looks” I started realising how most of these people in “front” of me were living exactly my lifestyle. The differences were diminished, wearing the same day uniform, spending the hours in the same box. Maybe with slight variations, but like me not out of choice.
The thoughts couldn’t shut down. Besides, the bar in my mind remained open even after curfew with them wondering around and walking their own path. I started wondering if it was us that were “strong together in this” and how truly together could we ever be. Isolated from each other, it hinted to me more clearly to a “alone in this, simultaneously.” Locked in between 4 walls, masked and instructed on how to be maintained we were all dissociated, separated and disconnected from our being. We were simply all living the same script in the same movie. No space for improvisation, no way out for communication.
Being in this mind state, an idea starting taking form, an idea which stack with me most part of the day. Appearing out of the blue like flashes in my head, images running at 60fps, it felt I had brainwashed myself.
There was an investigation of the psyche of a being or an entire society in a specific situation, focusing on the psychological view of the phenomena. It looked like the new status quo in which we often behave as having forgotten where we came from, how we came where we are and that we are actually identifying ourselves through the eyes of others was playing games with me. These times when we avoid to investigate and be concerned with our being and its broadest possible scope, as it causes deep discomfort. I had the instinct that no matter what it should not be late to ask a question for our relation to our being and to the world, grasp our understanding and how this is changing with social changes/history so that we might become more authentic, escaping any manipulation that can be inflicted upon us.
I was curious to see exactly what was going on in my head, I slowly wanted simply to sit on the couch and watch in unfold on the screen before my eyes.
- Pre-production
By then, I started discussing it with a friend, Ferdy, who explained me the process and started immediately encouraging me to write the script. And with the promise given, I prepared the first draft which after the guidance of my friend transformed into the final script. Together with it came the vision and a very child-sketched storyboard. What would follow was the gathering of the crew. The actor was already booked. “My Being” would be Ferdy, who immediately promised me just listening to the idea. The need of someone with his own visual/audio gear, post production software, with some experience in the pocket and of course available time to sail off together with an amateur like me in this trip was now of vital importance.
Having almost none connections in the network, I dove into the network of Ferdy – from now on my protagonist to be.
The budget was extremely small for hardcore professionals, however I unexpectedly received many positive replies for the script. Most of them however were lacking time, but many were helpfully directing me to others who might possibly be interested. So after a lot of emails, I was at the verge of accepting the difficulty of this path and calling it off. I declared sending the last email to a person I collaborated with a couple of years ago in Diorama and letting the case rest. Not much long after, I received a very enthusiastic and positive reply, a meeting followed and my Director of Photography and the post production was now official.
Having my DP and my protagonist, the film was official. The schedule was agreed upon and there was no turning back. Just a journey ahead waiting to be lived.
Of course such a journey, were I had to collaborate with real professionals, who were dedicating me their time and trust was honouring me immensely but at the same time a big responsibility was laid upon my shoulders. I followed some online classes and asked my self all the questions I could come up with, making sure I could foresee and have things ready.
- Production
Along the way was the scheduling of the shooting. Three days were needed, two for external day and night shots and one whole day the internal main shot. With the on going changing restrictions however, that changed when overnight a lockdown after 22:00 was announced. Although this interfered with the planning, we reacted fast and with the help in the logistics of another friend we brought all the equipment with a car at the desired location. Even if it was January and super cold, I was very delighted to find ourselves in flow and really immersed into the experience of shooting the best frame. Similarly but with a much longer duration we gathered the three of us together early on a Saturday morning. Guiding the protagonist to be as closest as possible to the vision of the film was challenging for me. Finding the right vocabulary and transmitting it is an essential feature of a director and being called to put it together was a very interesting route for me. During the whole process I was very intrigued by the technical knowledge the DP had and felt very lucky being able to learn in his side. Being responsible both for the lighting and for the video (and the post production later on) he was definitely a multitool. Then, when all was shot and all wrapped up, the nice work together appear in each ones faces. Yes we were tired, but with a shared smile on our faces. Summing up the day, the experience was intense required non stop focus and energy and definitely a good team spirit. And the moving was already a big step ahead.
- Post-production
Next step was post-production. Having the first draft based on the storyboard and the creativity of the the multitool Greg, we came together to set the final edit. That was maybe the easiest part from my side. Firstly because I had done in the past some video editing for other fun projects of mine and secondly because whenever I am watching a movie I realised I played a game with myself. I was trying to quick absorb the frame and guess how the next one would look like and in what terms it would have to fit with the one before. This is how I realised that while I have always been focusing on the images, I actually never paid attention to all the sounds surrounding the images. Pinpointing at the challenge coming up.
Having all set with the visuals, the essence of the music and sounds made itself clear, as everything felt completely empty without it. No matter how good the visuals were, they felt as being orphans without the sound. So that process of deciding what sound and what music would go to which moment was the most time consuming and brain burning moment of all. But it was at this step that a new collaboration evolved. I went through a lot of music and samples until I, super amazed, bumped into a song the sound of which was representing exactly what I had in mind. Without a lot of hesitation I tracked the first artist, Elysian from Melbourne, who super enthousiastic allowed me to use his song and even proposed to compose the whole music for the film. Had I known this before I would definitely say yes, but at this point, there were no such needs. I already had spent a lot of times on it. To even receive such an offer brought me over the moon anyway.
A bit delayed from the initial deadline, having put now everything together, images and sound the short film was a reality.
That was a point I secretly had my doubts I would ever reach, taking into account I was starting from literally 0. Nevertheless during the journey, that became of secondary importance and the main thing was the dive in the one step at the time. Being there, I realised that at this point the final step I wanted to be was the submission in some festivals.
- Festivals
Looking back, the first festival happened unconcscioussly during all the get togethers at home were there was often a point were my friends expressed the desire to watch the result of this journey. After switching on the projector and pressing the play button in front of this audience, the next 6 minutes were in complete silence. I could only hear the beating of my heart synchronising with the rhythm of the short film. By the end of these six minutes, my friends warmly welcomed my journey and eagerly started asking questions and narrating their own understanding. By putting their own background in in order to make sense and interpret the film I heard new different perspectives that I didn’t have in mind when creating, however they were all justified and I was very enthusiastic to hear the investigation behind. And actually, that was my initial intention. After I had finalised in me the core idea of the film, while creating the film I had come up with 3 interpretations. These added layers to the main idea, making it to my eyes more multidimensional with their details. I saw the core idea more like the little rock I was throwing in the water that created all these concentric circles around it. All the interpretations starting from this centre were justified and so was the whole conversation starting from this rock.
What followed after this was the screening of the film in the BUZZ Vicious Underground Film Festival in the Amazon/Brazil , an official Selection at the Buenos Aires International Film Festival (BUEIFF) and a Semi-Finalist position at the Madrid Film Awards. Last but not least, was the screening in The Roots Festival in the Hague which I was blessed to attend. A new experience for me was being shaped, watching it live on the big screen together with my protagonist and friends, watching further other short films and getting to know their creators, coming n touch with the organisers of the film festival and participating on stage at the Q&A. It seemed that although already some time has passed since the film was created, its dynamic was still there for me, it was still breathing and giving me momentum to go to the next inspiration.
I think I mapped my brain and out of it came “,Coma“.
